6/27/2023 0 Comments A light in the attic 1981![]() They had cast aside the masks they had worn to cover their worry when Nico’s heartbeat was slowing down and the obstetrician bounded into the room and announced we’d better go for a caesarean section for the baby’s safety. I was so slow, aching everywhere physically and emotionally. I can feel the memory of the ache in my lower abdomen from the fresh stitches, holding my recently repaired self with my hands when I got up to have a shower, feeling like my insides might fall outside my body if I wasn’t careful. The clothes we had brought with us were too big for her we didn’t have a hat, just a perfect wool blanket knitted by Sue from work, a confection of pastels around her tiny body. She sat in the chair for hours with Nico wrapped like a poorly constructed burrito. She bought a bag of plums and put them on a plate with a handful of paper towels neatly folded nearby. The day after our daughter was born, Mum was there. ![]() A meditation on motherhood, parenting and the medical system from Emma Espiner’s new memoir. ![]()
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